I'm...*shrug*

Because I have no cohesive narrative in mind...

One thing I hate: Making a sangwich and squeezing the mustard bottle to get an ejaculation of mustard water. That's just disgusting. Yeah, I was in a hurry and didn't shake well.

*****

Who loves tumbleweeds? I love tumbleweeds. On the drive home from work last week I was very nearly broadsided on Jefferson by a swarm of 'em surfing a great gust of wind across the roadway. The wind alone was cool (I may be alone in this opinion), but the tumbleweeds added a dimension that had me wishing for a camera. Iconic things, tumbleweeds. I was suddenly dissatisfied with sitting in a car as I rolled effortlessly on asphalt. I felt I should instead be astride a horse, big iron on each hip and a broad-brimmed hat firmly set on my brow (well, I actually did have the hat), as I aimed my square jaw (just work with me here) at the setting sun. As I ruminated on this fantastical scenario, I conveniently shoved to the back of my consciousness the fact that the one and only time I attempted to ride a horse, the resentful brute tried to dump me onto an electrified fence. I was ten and somewhat girthsome for my age, and obviously this animal had some very definitive opinions concerning acceptable height/weight proportions.

ANYWAY, I've always loved tumbleweeds from afar and now I get to see them all the time. Rustling in the brush. Rolling in spasmodic jerks across a field. Gathering at chain-link fences. Really, I do love them, but they're spooky! That's what I get for watching “The Outer Limits” as a kid.

*****

I am looking forward to my first-ever in-person bicycle race event! The Roadrunner Classic takes place Saturday April 24th, and the missus and I plan to attend. Needs: Two lawn chairs and enough cash to buy some unfortunate-but-tasty foodstuffs. Wants: A 4-pound bicycle and a set of Albuquerque-grown lungs. I know I'll sit by the side of the road telling myself “I could do that! Really, what would it take? Discipline, shmiscipline.”. Then I'll recall how grateful I always am for the first stop-light on my route to work. What I should do is find those paths I keep hearing about in the foothills and see if I can manage to train up into something like reasonable shape without inverting my ribcage. That would make a jolly spring/summer project.

Bicycling is my favorite sport to watch. Actually, it's the only sport I watch (except for expedition racing such as the Eco Challenge, and when was the last time you saw one of those broadcast? Oh, we have puh-lenty of “reality” shows featuring woefully over-sprayed, over-muscled, over-funded, foul-mouthed doll-people, but adventure racing? Crickets, crickets). Pure athleticism astride elegant sculptured machines. Writhing veins and tendons and ground-down molars. Grace and danger. That's a bicycle race.

The only other sports I can think of that match bicycle racing are long-distance running and rock-climbing. I'll watch those too. Do them? Are you effing kidding? Instead I'm considering another project, mainly walking every path and trail in the city, and once done, doing the same on my bike. That would be a terrific way to see the whole of the city, and surely beats the heck out of driving. I'm in love with the idea, actually.

*****

I'm curious. Did anyone ever resolve this mystery? I know it wasn't an extraterrestrial craft (no offense to the Art Bell crowd), but I'd like to know if anyone definitively identified it. I'm guessing balloon. It is Albuquerque, after all.

*****

That's it and that's all. Except I'm gonna go see Kick-Ass no matter what the critics say or who's sense of propriety is assailed.

Hasta.